My Dearest 18 year old Self,
Congratulations !!! You can now vote and drive. One fine day you got up and the world started calling you an adult and you have no idea how to stop it. Little did you know that your relationship with the world is purely convenience based. It will treat you like an adult when it suits it’s need and will treat you like a kid whenever it feels like.
At present your head is constantly in the clouds, thinking about the college you would get into, will meet the love of your life there. Sometimes you picture yourself as this super successful woman right at the top of corporate ladder in a corner office by the time you reached 30. Okay!!! I promise I will not laugh at you. I envy and miss your vulnerability. You have been picturing yourself in a red wedding dress since you were probably 2 years old. Somehow walking down the aisle towards a man was your “The” moment of life. You also used to think that maximum by the age of 30 you would become a mother to a little girl. Now that I analyse your behavior, it appears as if you are suffering from split personality disorder of some kind coz you considered yourself a feminist and at the end of the day could not remove from your brains the image of red wedding dress and man and a baby before 30. But I don’t blame you, for me you are still just a kid.
There was so much going on inside your 18 year old head. College, job, wedding, baby !!! You should chill. Corner office will take time but you will get there. Marriage is way too over rated I tell u. If you do find love of your life do get married no problem. If not, please do not undersell yourself and do not settle for first mediocre guy that comes in your life. If he does not treat you like a miracle that you are, he is a wrong guy. You will regret marrying way too soon to this person all your life. But if you do get married to a wrong guy, not for one second regret walking out of a marriage. Do not make mistake of staying in a bad marriage just coz you invested few years in the relationship. Think about the future you could save by walking out of an abusive relationship the minute you realise it’s not worth it.
Do not fall into the trap of biological clock. Becoming a mother is important part of being a woman I agree but thankfully it is not the only part of your identity. If you do become a mom by the time you reach 30, it’s awesome. But if you crossed that timeline and don’t see a partner in near future, don’t fret, you can still become a mom. There is adoption and IVF and if all these options do not work out, still you are no less of a woman. All this love you have in your heart for children will not go to waste I promise !!! Thanks to so many nieces and nephews. Value and appreciate and love the people who stand by you and forgive the people who bring you down.
Please do not attach your identity to one job, one man or one kid. You are way more than all these things combined. Important thing is, find a purpose of your life. If you have to pray for something, ask God to help put your life to use. Find what moves your soul and do not rest until you find it and once you find it do not give it up for anything or anyone.
I hope you realise soon enough what a miracle you are. Never stop crying in airport scenes of romantic comedies. Never stop believing in happily ever after coz you are going to live and you will be happy with or without the red wedding dress and man at the end of aisle or a baby in the cradle.
With Lots of Love,
Your Thirty One year Old Self
P.S. Your colour is not Red; It’s Yellow. I know coz I have made this mistake.