Let's Talk Random What it takes to be safe in India Positivity Dosage RANDOM
The tale is as old as time itself and it will sound familiar. Many will stop reading thinking this yet another rumbling of a frustrated feminist, some might wonder aren’t people bored already of same story over and over again where only name and location of characters is changed and rest all remains the same. Some like me, will get very angry yet again and wonder is this the last, it cannot get worse; only to be proven wrong within next few days. Wars have been fought for dignity of women in the past, volumes of literature written and for mere mortals like us, Bollywood led the crusade. Not just any Bollywood weirdo mind you but the very best Amitabh Bachchan, the Legend took upon himself and led from the front. Memory of “Pink” is very fresh and not long back, Social Media was overflowing with hard hitting dialogues from the movie which I believed had the power to stir the soul of creepiest pervert. The universe was unexpectedly quick to prove me wrong !!! News papers on 1st day of 2017 were filled with that shameful incident of Mass Molestation in Bangalore.

Mass Molestation:
 Disturbing right? I had no idea before this incident that such a word/phenomenon exists. All this got me to thinking of all the things people suggest women to do in order to be safe:

Call Molesters ‘Bhaiya: Probably the most cringe-worthy of all the suggestions from self-styled Godman who himself is serving Jail Term on account of molestation of a minor girl. There is so much filth in this man’s brain that he could easily be identified as a human embodiment of crap. What is more disturbing is that there are people who actually identify with crap and listen to him and worse agree with him. So make perverts your brother and hope their hearts will be filled with sisterly love when a few minutes back they were lurking and salivating all over you.

Do not dress ‘Provocatively’: One of the politicians, after this Bangalore incident (although it was not his first and I am sure will not be his last sexist comment) suggested that if women consider being half naked as fashion then what do they expect. Let me point out the irony here; Ayesha Takia, that cute girl in a crop top, showing off her stomach in that remix song of “Nahi Nahi Abhi Nahi” is his Daughter in Law. Thankfully this girl has condemned this hopelessly stupid statement. On behalf of every girl who loves crop tops I am indebted.

Do not go out with ‘Strangers’: Okay fine! This one makes sense. If you are accompanied by family members and particularly Husband as suggested by the same politician as above you will be safe. But there is one condition applied here, your husband has to be Spiderman or Batman or that weirdo Superman who wears undies over pants. Coz how else will one Man (even if he is husband) protect you from “mass molestation” when five husbands of Draupadi could not save her from the ordeal? Bad news is that, last time I checked, Spiderman was madly in love with Mary Jane and Batman has Robin, you have to stand in line for these men. And Superman seriously? Please don’t! It looks really gross.

We live in a country where Amitabh Bachchan is a failure. Isn’t it shameful? So, in short making perverts your ‘Bhaiya’, staying hidden in layers and layers of clothes and marrying someone who wears underwear over pants may save you from such instances. May alright! Nothing is set in stone here. History is a witness that here in India often Gods themselves fall short of being qualified as humans when it comes to protection of women.