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Did you ever feel jealous of these heroes who have been shoved down our throats all through our lives? These heroes who could fly, fight, be invisible, resemble a creepy animal and wear tacky outfits; often all at the same time. I always wished to have a Superpower. I am going to be honest, I  never was that noble. Saving the world was way down on my priority list, attention from people and weird outfits was what attracted me. As I grew up I realized it is not a very good idea to be a superhero. Because if I wanted to have a chance to survive in this world; I had to merge against the wall, remain lost in a crowd and wear my underwear under my pants! Clearly, all these traits for survival as recommend by the world are anti-superhero.

This world is a weird place, it craves for villains more than heroes. Villains make life easier you see. We can dump our failures, incompetence, insecurities and our cowardice on villains and they happily bear this burden. Heroes on the other hand are made a target because they force us out of our comfort zone, choosing good is hard you know. So this  world decided to neglect heroes to the extent of worthlessness and responsibility fell upon the few of us old school pupils to find lost superheroes. I found one such superhero in myself. Now, I may not have the powers to fly or throw cobweb from my wrist but my set of superpowers are also pretty cool. I realized as I worked on my powers that some superpowers are inbuilt, some are transmitted and for some you have to work your ass off.

Will you people believe if I tell you that once I had this ability (not calling it Superpower) to completely deny any problem to an extent that it vanished. Of course the same problem did rise back much later with much more power to bite me. I spent a lot of time, money and energy in therapy but only thing that helped me deal with my trauma was total denial. I would have continued to live on this denial mode had these words of the greatest mind of our generation (Tyrion Lannister) not sting me like some radioactive bug,

“Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like an armor and it can never be used to hurt you”.

I knew he was talking directly to me when he said it. I am proud to say that now I have the ability to acknowledge my problems, look them in the eye, work upon them and ask for help if needed, to overcome them. This, my friend, is nothing less than a superpower when you consider that I was once the queen of denial land and more so when you see delirious souls around you, drifting through their lives like zombies, without knowing what’s going on.

Do you remember that dream where you are falling and falling and you clearly remember the fear of hitting the ground; that ground never comes because it is a dream. Well! I have lived that dream in reality. In dreams, the anxiety of hitting the ground goes away in a few seconds, in reality, that phase of fear lasted for 2 years.  For 2 years, I kept waiting that my head would hit the ground and with that my fear will also go away. This brings me to the second superpower; getting back up after falling down.

There has never been a superhero who claimed not to have fallen. Batman’s whole world just blew up right on his face when his parents were shot before his eyes. Spiderman grew up without parents and saw people he loved killed before him. Superman’s entire planet vanished one fine day, on top of it he faced the trauma of having to wear undies over pants. It doesn’t mean that without a trauma you can not be a hero, all am saying is looking beyond a trauma is a great superpower.

When I was going through my trauma, every time anybody came to me and told me that everything happens for a reason, I should be happy irrespective of my circumstances, I resisted my urge to punch that person. Some really awful things happen to some really nice people and it is insensitive to ask them to look for a reason in these awful things. In such circumstances when you are grieving the loss of life, love or health and in spite of that you are able to identify and acknowledge your problems and are able to get back up; it is enough for now. Being able to put one foot before another when the whole world came crashing down on your head is the kind of power even superheroes are envious of.

Grab hold of your superpowers people, tie them around your neck like a cape and go fly right over the world which once thought you are too weak to even walk!

SmirkyFish

The author SmirkyFish

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