Dear Mira Rajput (wife of Shahid Kapoor),
First things first, congratulations on your fairy tale wedding and many more congratulations on your brand new beautiful baby girl. Now that the pleasantries are over and done with, we can totally get down to business! I am generally very busy in my professional life and hardly enjoy the luxury of commenting “Awww” on the super cute pictures of your baby you and your husband keep posting on social media. However, something happened a few days back, which forced me to stay up late at night and draft this heartfelt note; I am sure you are equally busy in being a wife and a mother and may not have time to go through this post so this letter although addressed to you is primarily for showing solidarity with the fellow struggling females whom you addressed “Feminazi”.
Tell me Mira, didn’t you realize for a second that what you were saying was hurtful and insulting when you claimed “I cannot spend an hour with my baby and go to work, this is not why I gave birth, after all it is not a puppy”? Do you think that a Mom who travels in a local train to and fro office and chops vegetables en route any less of a mother? Is love of such a mother for her child lesser than your love for your baby only because this working mom has aspirations different from yours? Are children of such mothers “puppies” just because their moms have a career and identity which is not restricted to being a wife and a mother?
I am not a mother and I am in my early thirties, on top of it I do not have a fairy tale scheduled in near future and as per your standards; people like me should write ourselves off because of lack of “Accomplishment” in the field of being a wife and mom. Now, you may say what do I know about being a mother; because my uterus is redundant not having served its sole purpose of popping babies, I must tell you I do know a thing or two about motherhood. When I see my mom (she is above 60) who wakes up at 5 A.M, gets ready to go to school where she teaches and often when I see the kind of respect she claims from her students, I feel pride in being her daughter because of her dedication towards her job even at this age. When I see my sister leaving behind her daughter to go to work; I know she is raising a woman who is fiercely independent and crazy proud of her mother. When I heard that my friend is leaving behind her toddler son with his grandmother for a month to go abroad on a professional assignment; I knew she is raising her son to be a Man in an environment where working women are not looked down upon.
I must confess, I have been on both the sides; I have been judged and I have judged others and when life brought me to my knees I understood the futility and fatality of being judgmental. Still, I am forced to don my judgy hat because you spewed venom against my tribe of fellow proud Feminazis. So excuse me if my words sound bitter, it is solely because of your obsolete opinions. You ridiculed working moms and called their children puppies. I am sure a lot of people must have called you a gold digger, for you managed to marry a film star. How did it feel, being called that? How would you feel if I say (I hope it is not true) that your current husband has just settled for you because more “accomplished” ones (Kareena Kapoor, Vidya Balan) outrightly rejected him for better alternatives available?
I watched you with your husband on Koffee with Karan Episode for 2 minutes and had to change the channel because what your husband said about you was pukeworthy. He claimed that only reason he married you is because you happen to be the most normal girl he knows and you kept gushing at the statement. Now, if anybody had called me normal on national television I would have kicked that person and would have kicked him hard. He should have married you because you are extraordinary, or atleast because he sees extraordinary in you. But after hearing your ideas on feminism, I second his opinion. You are mediocre at best and totally deserve a husband, who calls you that on national television.
You compared Male Chauvinistic Pigs (MCP) with Feminazis and as per your opinion; a mom chopping vegetables en route from office is a feminazi because she left her kid at home/creche in order to work for his/her better future. Who is MCP? It is a huge definition but let us all accept most basic one to save time: A person who thinks he is superior just because he has a male reproductive system and that is what makes him better than another half of the population. If we apply the same logic to your opinion on the definition of womanhood, just because you were able to give birth by the virtue of possessing a uterus and you are lucky enough to enjoy the luxury of staying back home and you decided not to work at all are you superior to the remaining ones who chose differently? Then who is a Feminazi? A Mom who chops vegetables in local train to make dinner for her child or you? I, who has not given birth yet or you whose only accomplishment, is that you married into money and decided to become a mother?
I have to be equally fair to you, for it is not completely your fault. Why would anybody in their right minds call you to deliver a speech on feminism? There are so many women around who are clearly better alternatives; these women struggled in the past and still struggle for their existence and their dignity. These better alternatives include a mother who has courage to move out of the house to work so that her child can have a better future, a mother who has a career so that her child can look upto her and be proud of her, a mother whose job makes her happy and a happy mom raises a happy child. A woman for whom her identity is not restricted to being a mother & wife could have been called to hear her views or a woman who is happily a mother & wife only but has courage to stand by other women who move out of their houses or maybe a woman who is not a wife neither a mom but is still no less of a woman. So many of these better alternatives were available still organisers chose you.
Face it Meera, you were called to deliver a women’s day speech just because other than possessing a uterus and breasts, you have lots of Manish Malhotra outfits (I am so middle class I cannot even recall anymore designers) and a famous husband. I & Mom chopping veggies did not judge you for being a stay at home mom. I wish you had returned the favor by not judging our choices as well. I hope you raise your daughter to be a better person; a person who does not judge other people’s choices.
Above 30, Not a Wife, Not a Mom but still a Woman (on behalf of all the proud fellow Feminazis)