Dearest Superpreet Kaur!
I have an idea that I am being a perfect jerk because I am using your story at such difficult time in your life, so I will begin by apologizing to you. I am very very sorry for using your story without your permission. You must have already noticed that I took the liberty of modifying your name slightly because I am in total awe of you. My intention behind sharing your story, however, is not that bad because in this crazy messed up world where most of us are emotionally challenged, we can learn a thing or two from Superheroes like you !!
I have seen grief myself and my own blood boils when people use my grief and try to make sense out of the disasters of my life. My grief is mine alone and the world has no business in taking my grief and drawing out lessons from it and then shoving the same lessons down my throat. Trust me when I say that I hate myself for doing the same to you what the world has been doing to me all these years. But I will draw a line; I am not going to take out lessons from your grief and recite the same to you. Why am I telling my version of your story then? Although I accept that I have no intention of using your story to make this world a better place but please allow me to try and become a better person myself through your strength of character. Like I said, I have seen grief; but what I have not seen is the courage you exhibited when fate forced you to read out the news of your own world coming crumbling down. You had one job and you made sure you did it come hail, come storm or come death of the love of your life. I wonder where you get this courage from and I am embarrassed to accept that I let my emotions grab hold of my good sense and I refuse to learn to be better emotionally equipped disaster after disaster and grief after grief.
I am in awe of you because when I see people here in India killing a man for apparently eating cow meat, when I see people in Pakistan killing a student and then defiling his dead body for apparent blasphemy and when I see people all over the world refusing to consider people different from their own kinds as humans I wonder why couldn’t these people contain their emotions? The little I know of grief; anger is a major part of it and somewhere you must have felt it as well. Although not all of us can be superheroes like you but there has to be a way to control this anger and sadness which makes us want to burn down the whole world. If only we all just do our jobs (like you did) and just fulfill the purpose for which we were born (I am pretty sure it does not include taking away human life for whatever reasons) wouldn’t the world be a better and safer place?
I am sure you have as big heart as I imagine you to possess and you are going to forgive me if you come across this piece for using your story. It is just that in the first time in forever I want to become a better person and that is because of you. You don’t know me but please believe me when I say; if I could, I would take away all your pain just to make sure that beautiful souls like you never know what pain is. But I guess that somewhere down the line it is pain that makes souls beautiful and for you I can relate to this song:
Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman
Standing up to a test while wearing a party dress
Sometimes looks can be deceiving
When you’re quietly over achieving
Oh, sometimes it takes balls to be a woman
With Love and Blessings and Healing,
From Girl who knows Grief but no Courage